Albion, Books, Trickster

Parky’s Gaff…

***

Shall I tell you… A very good… Fix it… I did with a young lady… At Buckingham Palace?… I was at a reception at Buckingham Palace… Which is not an easy gaffe to penetrate… So, I was at this reception… And there was a very nice lady and gentleman… And they said to me… My daughter would be so pleased to know that we’ve met you… I said… Oh yes, where is she?… They said… She is in the back of the car… We’ve sneaked her in the back of the car… So she can say she’s been in the Palace Courtyard… So I said… Right, leave it to me!

***

I went to see a minder, and said… I’m bringing a friend in… Now, the Palace Staff are the most excellent people… Right… And on the way out I explained very briefly… Leave it to us!… So, I went out into the car park… Which is a courtyard inside the Palace… And I shouted the young lady’s name… Next minute she’s holding my arm… And next minute we’re marching up the steps right into the Palace… Well, the staff had done it right… Two footmen open the two great doors… And inside there are all the Majors… And the Colonel’s… And the household staff… It is the most elegant situation…

***

And when she saw this spectacle… And they all gave a little graceful dip… She hung onto me like a lion… And we walked up the steps… And into the room where the reception was… And fantastic luck… Prince Philip… Who is a marvellous geezer… Happened to be standing… Just inside the door… ‘chatting’ with somebody… So I went… Psst… Now there’s not a lot of people go… Psst… Inside the Palace…  So, he’s on a butchers… Right…  Sees me… And I do the nod… Brought the kiddo in… On the evidence of this little tale… It is more than possible that Jimmy… Was a bastard son of the Greek?

 

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