I thought I would help out this morning
Give a paw with the housework, you know,
But there’s really no pleasing some people…
I tell you, it just goes to show…
I thought I would tackle the bedrooms,
She keeps them quite tidy and neat
Which, she says, is ‘cause I’m not allowed there
Because of the mud on my feet.
So while she was up in the bathroom
And all up to her eyeballs in soap,
I went looking for jobs needing doing
Of the kind with which small dogs can cope.
I saw that her nest was all rigid,
You know, that place she sleeps in at night,
So I jumped up and gave it a shaking
Just to make it all rumpled and right.
The bed in the guest room was stiffer,
All starchy and crackled and straight…
But after a few minutes digging,
I soon had it cosy and great.
I noticed she’d just left the laundry,
The stuff she’d discarded that day,
So I thought I had better remove it,
She wouldn’t want that on display.
Now, I’m feeling quite proud of my efforts
And waiting to see what she’ll say,
I bet she’ll be happy I helped her…
And say we can go out to play.
“Oh no!” says the wet apparition,
She’s dripping and steaming, I see…
While the water may come from the bathtub,
The steam is directed at me!
“What have you done now,” she says sternly,
It’s ‘that’ tone so my ears start to itch,
“You’ve been helping again, little girlie…”
But I notice the smile start to twitch.
I lie down as a hand comes towards me,
“You daft dog,” she says, stroking my ear,
“I suppose that you think you are helping.”
She opens her arms, says, “Come here.”
So we sit at the top of the stairwell
And cuddle a moment or two,
There is no pleasing some people really,
But for gratitude, cuddles will do.
“I’ll just go get dressed,” she informs me,
“And then we can go for a walk.
But about the whole housework thing, small dog…
I think we should quietly talk…”
She’s looking perplexed round the bedroom,
“Oh now where is that clean underwear?”
I’ve buried it under the cushions,
I doubt if she’ll think to look there…