Notes from a small dog – Chill

Frankly, you two legs have got problems. Especially her… why can’t she just chill? Okay, she says she’s been chilling too much today with the heating gone, but you know what I mean.

All I was doing was having a nice, quiet nap… you’d think she’d be pleased. I was… it was good to get my sofa back and after I’d checked the place out, just in case I’d missed anything while we were away… and helped her unpack her bags, to see where she’d been and what she’d been up  to, I thought I deserved a snooze. Particularly after that trying session with the pigeons… they seem to think that just because I’m away for a couple of days they can move into my garden..! Between them and old Ginger next door, I have my work cut out, you know…

I may have had to bark a bit… and have a word with the birds and the German Shepherd who lives over the back fence… and the postman of course… But what do I get? “Shhh…” “Quiet…” even an “Oi!” A girl has to do her duty after all…

Anyways, between all that and her complaining that it was too cold to have the door open, I thought it was time to sort the sofa cushions and my blanket and have a siesta. I’ve barely closed my eyes when this dog starts singing…. in my living room! That woke me up, I can tell you…!

I looks around… nothing… just her laughing…couldn’t find him anywhere…

Then I realised, while she was clicking away with the camera… it’s that me-tube thingy she’s watching. That’s where he is…

And she’s growling at me for making weird noises?

So I gave in, crawled under my blanket and went to sleep. I was just in the middle of a really good dream… nothing to do with being serenaded by the singing red setter at all… when there’s a knock on the door. I was off the sofa like lightning…you just never know, you know… and she’ll open the door to anyone! Without me, she’d be in trouble.

I checked the guy out… and distracted him a bit… but turns out he was just here to sort her bath water and heaters out. That should stop her moaning and groaning for a bit at least. Though I’ll have to be on my guard… she needn’t think she’s getting me in the tub…

So, I snuggle down for that nap… and the phone rings. Normally, I’d just leave her to get on with it… unless its my boy… he sometimes talks to me down the phone… but she starts making these really odd noises…couldn’t understand a word of it… I mean, I was getting seriously worried about her wittering on in gibberish… though she called it French when I asked… but I know that tone. I tried my best…resisted the urge to hide under the table and kept her supplied with tennis balls to throw as a distraction. Didn’t seem to work though…

By the time she’d finished, I don’t know ’bout her, but I was exhausted…

But you two-legs are weird… seems the more you do, the more you need to do… You build up so much steam you just don’t seem to know how to let it go. Even when the day is over and there’s nothing to be screwed up for any more. Tonight, she’s more chillied than chilled. Then just when I’ve decided to snuggle down for the night… you know, when the moon’s up and it’s all dark and frosty and she should be wrapped in that fluffy thing she wears instead of fur… what do I get? “Let’s go for a walk…”

Much as I hesitate to say so, she should probably take a look at a cat… I would myself if I could catch one… they know how to relax.

Much love,

Ani xxx